Hello,

My name is Robert Holder and I’d like to take a little time to share our journey with you. I’m betting by the time I’m done we’ll have a lot in common.

In April of 2020 I came down with a case of covid-19. Probably the sickest I have ever been, I mean SICK. I wrote my will out, and then wrote down all my pin numbers and passwords. For all intents and purposes my final days were at hand, and I didn’t believe I was leaving that room alive.

The physical sickness was bad enough, but the sheer anxiety of knowing I had the same virus that was taking over the news made it that much worse. My doctor of 20 years instructed me to stay away from the hospitals, so we only spoke on zoom calls. I was prescribed a form of a steroid and the over the counter symptom medicines, but nothing was enough. Nothing worked well. Everyday, for over a week, I felt that I  just had to get to the hospital. And many times my wife had to physically restrain me. I needed help.

Lupe, my wife, frantically searched for alternative methods of easing my fever, aches and pains, breathing difficulties, diabetes spikes, and my new friend ANXIETY. This ultimately led us to begin our journey down a path that would drastically change my life - and the life of my family - forever.

Determined to find an organic solution, Lupe forced a barrage of garlic, turmeric, cloves, ginger, lemons, oregano, basil, rosemary and even something from under the kitchen sink into my system anyway she could; through hot teas, compresses, broth and even in my socks.

You see, I have type 2 diabetes. Between the steroids and over the counter elixirs, my blood sugar was spiking to over 400 many times in that period. SCARY. My doctor gave me insulin out of his office as none was to be found at major pharmacies. The metformin was just not able to keep up.

Two incredible events took place during that time. First, I noticed my blood sugar would drop considerably after drinking the teas full of cloves, garlic and oregano. The Second one happened when I had a bad stomach ache. I walked into the kitchen to get some alka seltzer and was ambushed by my wife who proceeded to rub a peppermint extract on my stomach. I took maybe 15 steps more before my stomach ache was completely gone. WOW.

Well, I made it through. My body had healed, but I was left with a little lingering anxiety and a brain that was overloaded from the 10 days of reflection on my life, my family, my health, my spirituality, my job, my purpose. That’s the one that really got me, what was my purpose?

I’ve had a job in the wonderful world of retail since I was 15, and have been on salary since I was 17. You all know what salary means in retail! While it has fed and supported my family for 40 years, I am unfortunately left being a very one dimensional person. I'm good at displaying a clean merchandised store, keeping my people happy, profit and loss statements, and making sure the bathrooms are clean.

What I realized during my sick time was that I was horrible at enjoying holidays at home, having patience with my family, housework, functional vacations, time with the Lord, relaxing and hobbies. I have never had just a simple relaxing hobby.

I mean, I was on a schedule. I had 2 to 3 hours after work every day to eat, shower and relax. My days off were spent with my manly chores of mowing grass, laundry, and mentally preparing for next week. I was always rushing through my personal life just trying to find that one extra hour for me.

When reflecting after my sickness, I remember sitting on my back porch and staring at 2000 square feet of beautiful green St. Augustine grass. I mean corner to corner, no bird bath, no hummingbird feeder, no dog, no nothing. It was about here I started to gain traction on changing my purpose in life. My son had no reason to invite friends over to simply see nice grass. My grandkids had nothing to do in the backyard. What was there to do?

As we spent the next few months with kiddie pools and water toys strewn across my once barren backyard, my purpose became clearer.vIt was actually kind of neat cleaning up the backyard after a weekend. Juice boxes, wet towels, and half eaten bags of chips offered me a bit of purpose. After all, who else but Dad was going to clean it up?

I bought myself a sweet basil plant for the porch, which had become my new hangout. It grew so big and beautiful, and in turn gave me the feeling that I was good at something else a few minutes a day. I actually enjoyed the careful watering and pruning yellow leaves.

Then came the day I was charged with making spaghetti. It hit me as I reached for jars of dried basil and rosemary from the cupboard …. I have fresh basil on my back porch! I reluctantly stole 8 or 10 leaves from my potted friend and dinner was served.

Well, two years or so later I quit my job in management. For the first time since I was 15 years old, I was now punching the clock as an hourly associate. 

There is a greenhouse and about ten different raised beds in my backyard now, along with nine little Coturnix quail in a 300 square foot aviary. Fresh and dried herbs are part of my daily meal prep for lunch, my teas for bedtime, and my new found hobby. Quail eggs are for my neighbors and for my granddaughter, who thinks they are laid small and dainty just for her. I have added lady bugs, praying mantises, and lizards to my backyard garden, which always gives my grandkids something to spark their curiosity. We have a 100 gallon bin dedicated to earthworms, two hummingbird feeders, and a couple stray cats that loiter around the backyard every now and then.

I guess the point is that I believe I have finally found some purpose to my life. Every day there is something to do that requires just me. Maybe me and my wife, or sometimes my son joins in too. Even more extraordinary are things to be done that involve me, my wife, my son, and the grandkids! Days off are functional, patience is becoming a virtue, and knowledge is being thrust upon all of us. There’s something to be said for simply making good memories in our little backyard farm. It took me a little longer than I would have liked, but like our parents told us; “You're never too old to stop learning!”

I have been known to ramble so I will stop here. I hope you all will join us on our little journey. Should we ever meet, I would hope we have some common things to express and share.

Thank you,

Robert